this was the only thing we had

i'm not saying that i'm ever going to just pack up my things and move to florida, and the reason that i'm not saying that is because i probably won't but believe me when i say that it isn't becasue i don't want to but more because i do want to or rather even because i need to because i need him and that scares the hell out of me and the more i hear his voice on the other end of that line the more i realize that i belong wherever he is and i don't want to be the girl who depends on anyone even if it is the one i love and i don't so much depend on him as i do the love he offers me. i belong to him and he knows that and it's perfectly terrifying in that it's perfect and i'm not. i don't know if i could be with him without screwing it up and i don't know if i could ever forgive myself if i was to do that. the thing is that i need him to save me from myself but i don't want to relinquish that control to anyone. including him. hell, including me. but i need him so badly and florida is calling me quietly but insistently